


i can't make you love me ;; woosan

by P0RCELAINS



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, M/M, Mentions of Sex, One-Sided Love, Sad, Woosan, also wooyoung is an asshole in this, but honestly i only mention the college setting like once, but it's not detailed, i cant write smut, idk why i keep hurting san in my stories, it be like that sometimes, san im so sorry, san is a painting major, wooyoung is an architecture major
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 00:53:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20322391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/P0RCELAINS/pseuds/P0RCELAINS
Summary: a story wherein san loves wooyoung with everything he has and wooyoung just needs a distraction.





	i can't make you love me ;; woosan

**Author's Note:**

> hello i wrote this whole thing in like one sitting the day after i posted ghost of you, but ghost of you recently hit 100 hits so i thought it was a good time to post this one too as a thank you for the support on my past 3 works.
> 
> once again this story is inspired by a song so listen to 'i can't make you love me' by dave thomas junior while reading this for the full experience.
> 
> enjoy reading (and try not to hate wooyoung too much in this i kno he's a sweetheart irl)!!

**—Wooyoung needed ** ** _something_ ** **. ** He had severely underestimated the workload and demands of being an architecture student and now he was paying for it with lethargic days caused by sleepless nights, feeling more and more discouraged as each day passed. It felt like he was constantly on the brink of a mental breakdown. 

So when spring break rolled around, he thought he would find that  _ something _ . He was finally free from the stress of academic demands for a while, which eased him to an extent, but there was still a feeling of voidness deep inside him that he didn’t know how to fill. At first he ignored it, thinking perhaps it was just an off day and it would go away on its own. But it didn’t. 

What he thought was one off day turned into a whole week of just feeling wrong. It irritated him to no end, how he knew he needed something, but didn’t really know what that something was. Until one day, when he decided to leave his dorm for the first time that spring, taking a walk around the large campus of his university to clear his head, Wooyoung spotted him.

The first thing he had noticed was the boy’s blonde hair, a stark comparison to everyone walking past him, sporting strands of black and brown. And as Wooyoung’s gaze wandered downwards to examine his face, he saw soft cat-like eyes, the type that held nothing but kindness, and his lips seemed to be slightly upturned into an eternal smile. Now, Wooyoung never believed in the concept of love at first sight. He thought it was the dumbest thing in the whole world for someone to fall in love after one glance, and this wasn’t an exception. He didn’t see any fireworks, didn’t feel any sparks, his surroundings didn’t suddenly warp around the boy, and he was sure the earth didn’t stop turning. Wooyoung wasn’t in love, but he was definitely intrigued.

And perhaps he had been staring for too long as the blonde boy noticed him from across the little grass patch that separated them and began walking his way, still maintaining the small smile on his lips.

“Hi, I’m San. I just transferred here,” the blonde said holding his hand out for Wooyoung to shake, which he reluctantly did. “I’m taking fine arts, majoring in painting.”

“Hi, uh, Wooyoung,” the other boy replied, gesturing to himself awkwardly. “Architecture.”

San’s eyes seemed to light up at the mention of his course, making something spark inside Wooyoung as well. Suddenly, he had figured out how he could fill the void for just a little while.

“Architecture, huh? That’s a pretty challenging course, you must be really good.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Wooyoung replied with a shy smile, making San chuckle. “Hey, you wanna hang out sometime?”

Wooyoung didn’t need  _ something _ .

“I’d love to.”

He needed  _ someone _ .

  
  


~

In the days and weeks that followed, San and Wooyoung spent nearly every waking moment together, getting to know each other better, and just passing the time. It wasn’t long until spring break ended and classes resumed, but Wooyoung didn’t feel the crushing weight as much as he used to, because after each long day, San would stop by his dorm to help carry the load.

At first it was nothing serious, the blonde would just sit on the ground and help Wooyoung do some math problems and cheer him on when he felt like giving up and going to bed. San had become his support system, his rock, a safe place where he could take refuge when it all became too much for him, something crucial he’d been without for so long. It felt nice to finally have someone there for him. But don’t get him wrong, Wooyoung still felt nothing for the boy. 

Then something happened one night. Wooyoung didn’t even know how the events had unfolded to lead to that specific moment, but one minute the architecture major had his head buried in the crook of San’s neck, crying his heart out because all his project designs had been harshly turned down by his professor and he genuinely didn’t know what to do anymore. Then the next minute, the blonde had gently pried Wooyoung off of him to wipe away his tears, staring into his eyes for a beat to long, before they both leaned in.

Wooyoung had never planned on kissing San. He had never ever thought of the blonde in that way. Even with their lips interlocked, the black haired boy still didn’t feel a hint of anything. To him, he was simply kissing San. But it definitely helped him forget what he had previously been crying about, helped clear his mind for a while. And they had shared more kisses after that night, particularly when Wooyoung was feeling a little low. He’d pull San in and they’d kiss until he’d forget his worries, and the blonde never once complained. San never questioned Wooyoung, and Wooyoung was thankful for that.

There were days when San would spend the night at Wooyoung’s dorm when he’d missed the last bus back to his place because he’d simply lost track of time. On those nights, the black haired boy would lazily wrap his arms around the blonde as they both tried not to fall off the single sized bed. San would automatically snuggle against the boy’s chest and Wooyoung would count how many beats it’d take him to fall asleep before he did the same. And San would fall asleep with a smile on his face almost every time.

There were also days when San would spend the night at Wooyoung’s dorm when he’d missed the last bus back to his place because they’d simply  _ lost track of time _ . The two couldn’t deny that whatever relationship they had had escalated into something much more serious because sometimes San’s kisses weren’t enough to silence the voices in Wooyoung’s head anymore. He needed more. Wooyoung needed more of San, so San gave Wooyoung all of him. Granted the black haired boy access to the most intimate parts of him, let him leave his mark wherever he wanted. It sufficed for Wooyoung, at least for the moment. And when it was all over, when they’d both burned themselves out, San would snuggle against the boy’s bare chest and fall asleep with a smile just the same.

~

The first time San told Wooyoung he loved him should really not have come as that big of a shock to the black haired boy. Deep down he knew how the blonde felt about him loud and clear. Wooyoung wasn’t an idiot, he could read people’s emotions, and San wasn’t very good at hiding his. So why the sudden confession made the architecture major freeze in place? He didn’t know. But he said it so very softly, like a secret only they were allowed to know. Wooyoung had never heard anything more genuine in his whole life.

“I love you.” 

San had his arms wrapped around Wooyoung as they stood in the kitchen, the younger reaching up into the cupboards to get bowls for their cereal, when his hand froze in midair. The blonde placed a gentle kiss on Wooyoung’s exposed shoulder. “You don’t have to say it back right now, I just wanted you to know that I love you.”

The black haired boy didn’t know how to respond to that, so he did the only thing he could think of. He turned around to face San who looked at him with starry eyes, and leaned in to connect their lips and drown the confession out of his mind.

“I love you so much, Wooyoung.” San breathed when they pulled away and Wooyoung simply connected their lips once more.

~

Months passed and still nothing had changed between the two. San still gave the black haired boy his all, and after a long day of giving until he ran dry, Wooyoung would wrap his arms around San and let the blonde fall asleep close to him. That was all he could ever give back. It was almost like an unspoken agreement and for a while, they were okay. Wooyoung thought they would be okay for a long time.

However, by the time spring rolled around again, he noticed San was getting a bit restless. He was becoming needy. Hanging around Wooyoung much more than usual, waiting for him outside of his classes, spending consecutive nights at his dorm, even dragging him out from under his architecture books to go grab a bite at nice restaurants and watch overrated movies. It was beginning to exhaust the black haired boy, but as long as he got his regular dose of San’s blissful distraction after a long tiring day, he didn’t quite mind.

But it all changed once the roles were switched, because one rainy Thursday night at around three in the morning, it was  _ San _ who needed Wooyoung. 

It was one of those rare nights where the blonde hadn’t stayed the night in the dorm and Wooyoung was enjoying all the extra space on his bed that he had missed more than he knew, falling asleep in a matter of seconds to the soft pitter patter of raindrops against his window. Until, the architecture major woke up to the obnoxious ringing of his phone a couple hours later. The caller ID read  _ San _ and he accepted the call with an annoyed grunt.

“Hello?” he groaned into the phone.

“Woo,” San’s voice cracked as if he had been crying. “Woo, I’m having a really rough night do you think you could come over. I’ll text you the address and I’ll pay for the cab. Please.”

“San, it’s 3am and pouring outside.” Wooyoung clicked his tongue. “What do you need anyway?”

“Then can you just talk to me on the phone until I feel better.” San was practically begging at this point. The black haired boy could almost hear the cries bubbling in the back of the blonde’s throat as he hiccuped.

“I have an exam at seven. I need to go to sleep.”

It was silent on the other end for a while and Wooyoung wondered if San was still there.

“Okay, yeah, you should go to sleep.” San choked out. “I’m sorry for waking you.”

“It’s okay.”

“I love yo—” 

But before the blonde could even complete the last syllable, Wooyoung had already hung up and shoved his phone into one of his dresser drawers before rolling over to resume his slumber. His mind never once wandered to think about what had happened to San and what he needed. Wooyoung slept soundly that night.

~

Things weren’t the same after that night. Despite Wooyoung being the detached one in their  _ relationship _ , even he could feel San gradually growing distant as the days went by. He noticed how the blonde didn’t snuggle as close to him anymore, he no longer fell asleep smiling. San was constantly checked out. He didn’t hold Wooyoung the same way when they kissed and he didn’t move the same way he used to when they were tangled into each other in bed. Things were different, they weren’t okay anymore.

But Wooyoung was selfish. He wanted to keep the void inside himself filled for as long as he could. So he ignored all the times San wasn’t quite himself, squeezed his eyes tighter when he connected their lips to try and retrieve the memory of how it felt to kiss San before they became like this. He thought that if he remembered hard enough, he’d be able to feel it. If he remembered hard enough, he’d be able to forget. 

For a while, it sufficed and San went along with it every time. It wasn’t the same, but it was enough. Wooyoung was satisfied. He was always satisfied with what San had to give, because all he did was give, and give, and give without asking anything in return because San never questioned Wooyoung. 

Not until now.

The two were laying together, bare, on Wooyoung’s bed. It had been a tiring day for both of them, for very different reasons, and the black haired boy had just relieved his stress and was ready to go to sleep with San’s head tucked cozily underneath his chin as if it belonged there. But just as Wooyoung’s eyelids were beginning to fall, the blonde decided to bring up the topic Wooyoung had been avoiding since day one.

“Woo, what are we?”

“What do you mean, San?” Wooyoung replied with a yawn just as San lifted his head up so he could look the boy in the eye, startling him quite a bit, and Wooyoung unintentionally flinched back.

“You know what I mean.”

The blonde’s pupils were moving back and forth rapidly, examining every inch of Wooyoung’s face as if he were searching for something. The black haired boy could sense his desperation as San’s hands balled into fists, just at the base of Wooyoung’s chest, trying to grasp onto something that wasn’t there, something that was out of reach.

“Do you love me?” He asked when he received no reply to his last question.

“It’s getting late, San. Go to sleep.” 

Wooyoung was about to turn around, to face away from San, to maybe get him to stop asking questions he didn’t have answers to, but he wasn’t able to do that as the blonde lay the gentlest of touches upon his cheek, guiding his gaze until it met eyes filled with tears San refused to let fall, before carefully sweeping some of his black hair that had fallen onto his face out of the way. Wooyoung was trapped.

“Woo, did you ever love me?” San asked, his voice the shakiest it had ever been as he glided the pad of his thumb over every single one of Wooyoung’s features, watching out for the smallest of signs. But the black haired boy’s expression remained stone-cold and indifferent, his gaze never leaving San’s.

A tear finally fell out of the blonde’s eye.

“All this time,” San started, more tears cascading down his cheeks. “Was I just someone to keep your bed warm?”

Wooyoung remained silent, not knowing what to say. He didn’t have anything to say.

San simply squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, before once again returning to his spot just below the black haired boy’s chin, nuzzling himself into his neck.

“San,” Wooyoung said, his voice coming out quieter than he had intended it to as his arms automatically found their way around the other boy’s torso, rubbing calming circles into his back like it was second nature.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. I got it.” San hiccuped. “Go to sleep, Woo. You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be gone by morning”

The blonde buried himself deeper into the boy’s chest, and Wooyoung counted how many beats it took for the silent sobs that racked his small body to cease and for his breathing to even out before he allowed himself to slip into slumber as well. And the next time his eyes opened to the blinding light of morning sun leaking into his room, the body he had been holding during the night had been replaced by a pillow and the other side of his bed was abandoned and cold.

San had kept his word. 

In a perfect world, Wooyoung would’ve felt sad, would’ve felt like the worst person in the whole universe. He would’ve beaten himself up over every shitty little thing he’d done to hurt the boy. In a perfect world, Wooyoung would’ve ended up falling for San too. He would’ve loved San, would’ve given back until he too ran dry. In a perfect world, San would still be asleep in Wooyoung’s arms with a smile on his face.

But the world wasn’t so perfect and the only thing Wooyoung felt was the void inside him opening up once more. 

So with heavy strides, Wooyoung got ready and headed to class.

The world continued turning.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for setting aside some time to read this, all your kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and if yall wanna follow me my twitter is @sanhours :> thanks again
> 
> update!! i posted a sequel to this story in san's pov the title is "how a broken heart mends" and it would mean a lot to me if yall checked that out too<3


End file.
